How To Mend A Broken Heart
Have you ever felt the aching feeling of what seems like your heart splitting in two? The ever so slowly cracking of it's shell just like an egg being beaten open leaving your depressing emotions to spill out?
I mean, not literally, of course. But figuratively.
Have you ever, Have you ever experienced a heartbreak?
I'm sure everyone has. May it be a breakup, the last episode of your favorite show, a spilled milk, a failed test and so forth. But this time, however, let's focus on a breakup with someone you liked or, even loved.
It's the craziest thing how someone who could bring you so much joy can turn your emotions upside down in a snap. One second you're enjoying every moment, and the next you're crying over a moment that put an end of all the memories you've spent together and the future plans you hold dear.
The breakup -- a result of the fight, the silence, the anger, the horrible words exchanged by two people who used to care so much about each other.
And then here comes the broken hearts between the two or sometimes, only one.
You ask, how do you get up from this? How do you pick up the pieces when all you want is to go back to him, ask him for a second, third, fourth or even infinite chances to forgive, forget, understand you. And most especially come back to you.
How do you mend it, your broken heart when it's one of the hardest thing to do - fixing yourself. It's not easy, but it's possible and here's how:
CRY. Let all your sadness spill out. It's not a weak thing to do. But perhaps the most human reaction you will have. Don't keep your emotions in, it will make you feel heavier, sadder and more depressed than you really are. So again, crying is not for weak people.
GIVE IT TIME AND SPACE. A day, a week, a month, a year, just time away from him, the social media, and everything that reminds you of him. This means absolutely no stalking on any platforms you can use. Block and unfriend if you have to. Unfollow the person if it means it's the only way you can stop from checking in on him.
ACCEPT THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE. Hoping for another chance is just that. Hope. You can't live for only hope - for only expectations that if you do this, if you do that, he'll come back, because there's a high chance he wouldn't. There's a chance that he's moving on - finding ways to make his life better, without you. And hunny, your broken heart isn't going to make the world stop.
DO NOT HOLD A GRUDGE. Hating on another because of what he or she did is just another way of you thinking about this person. And with this negative feeling on your chest, you'll never grow. A relationship takes two for it to work. If it doesn't, then, it isn't meant to be. Accept that you both have flaws. Maybe the other person caused the fight, but if you didn't give up, would there be a breakup? If both people made it work, talked earnestly like adults, forgave each other for their flaws, would there be a breakup? If forgiving the other person isn't worth it, then is hating on them do? Remember, hate is never a pleasant feeling. You'll just be trapped in a constant loop of your own emotions.
CREATE GOALS FOR YOURSELF. Think about you. Your partner is gone. Thinking about them all day and night wouldn't make them come back. You're just wasting your precious time on alcohol, laying on the bed, cigarette and whatever you do to cope with your dooming heartbreak. Instead, use this opportunity to create goals for yourself. What do you want to achieve this year? Do you want to be promoted? Do you want to learn a certain language? And many more. There are so much to learn from life. Embrace it, get curious, go out and learn. We only have limited time on earth, make use of it. Don't waste any second, destroying yourself.
FORGIVE. This is one of the hardest part but very important, nevertheless. Learn to forgive the person who hurt you. This is the only way you could move on from what's holding you back. There may be no valid reason for what they did to you, but forgive nonetheless. Or maybe the one you can't forgive is yourself for causing so much trouble. Forgive still. Your flaw isn't going to go away with you keeping it in like a dark secret. Learn from your mistake and forgive yourself. Stop the anger, the negativity you hold to your chest. Release it, let it go.
LOVE AGAIN. Now that you're done with everything else, open your heart to the world. Do not be afraid to love and be loved by another. There are approximately 7 billion people out there, you only need one. Is that one so hard to find? Trust God's timing. That person will come. You may not even need to chase for it, because maybe, just maybe, it will fall right next to you.
At the most perfect and spontaneous time.
Without you expecting it.
And maybe, you just have to give love to yourself, even.
Happy Valentine's Day, my loves.
