Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

What is an Influencer?




It started back in 2016 - a thought followed by various actions. One thought that maybe I can use the internet to express myself, to be seen and heard. Back then, content creators may it be in the form of writing or videos were just a handful. The industry was still on the rise, not yet widely known as it is now but grows day by day. I had seen the OG's in the industry - watched and got inspired by what they were doing.

So I told my shy ass self to just start. I only had my phone with me and nothing else - no laptop, no camera and most importantly no confidence.

But I began my journey with a signup to Blogger and finally with a makeup tutorial article - it was harder to narrate a makeup tutorial with words and pictures rather than just uploading the video itself but I was so shy. I didn't know how to speak to the camera and let's just admit that I was awkward as hell.

A series of product reviews came and went. On the contrary to what people may believe, we don't receive "free" products in the beginning of the journey. To be honest, we make content, grow big enough for a company to notice us before we are given the opportunity to review something for free. I still remember the first ever company who emailed me for a feature on my blog - it was exhilarating, finally getting noticed.

After that, I started my Youtube account. My first video was very awkward - it gained a lot of dislikes, but on the positive note, it also gained a ton of likes and views. It was very motivating, to be noticed yet again.

A couple more articles and videos came and went. It was fun. But like everything else, it became tiring. And I constantly asked myself why. Fast forward to this year, I still ask myself on why I left my eager 2016 self behind. If I was still that girl who constantly posts reviews and videos, I could probably, maybe, have a lot of brand deals on the way.

But I stopped.

The articles were less. The videos stopped.

And this time I really asked myself, what does it really take to be an influencer?

And then I knew why I stopped. Because I got tired of trying to be noticed. I realized that influencing people doesn't only come in brand deals, product articles, likes and views. What it takes to be an influencer is affecting people around you, embracing them with your ideals, views, and opinions. It isn't all glam and glitter, it's learning from one another. I learned slowly through the years that the best way to influence people is not by trying to influence them but by being your most genuine self. In that way people will gravitate towards you naturally and will also learn from you.

Come to think of it, we are all influencers - curated IG feed or not.

How I Coped with My Self Doubts






Self doubt is a dangerous thing.

It has always been a struggle for me to face my choices with all the negative thoughts boggling my mind.

What if I'm not good enough? What if I made the wrong choice? What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if..

All these what ifs that are holding me back is depressing.

Was depressing.

It took me a while, a looong while to not get past it but to live through it, with it. I know that there will be self doubts. It's constant, always reminding me of what I lack as if it's following me incessantly. But eventually, I learned to flow with it.

When self doubts start clogging your thoughts, learn to ignore it and focus on your goal. Always focus on what you want to accomplish and your plan to actually get through it. Afterall, your goal should not attain perfection because no one ever is, but to reach your realistic objective.

Do not make your mind your enemy. You are not your enemy.

Learn to live with your flaws with a smile just like I did and am doing. 

How To Mend A Broken Heart


Have you ever felt the aching feeling of what seems like your heart splitting in two?  The ever so slowly cracking of it's shell just like an egg being beaten open leaving your depressing emotions to spill out?

I mean,  not literally,  of course.  But figuratively.

Have you ever,  Have you ever experienced a heartbreak?

I'm sure everyone has.  May it be a breakup,  the last episode of your favorite show, a spilled milk,  a failed test and so forth.  But this time,  however,  let's focus on a breakup with someone you liked or, even loved.

It's the craziest thing how someone who could bring you so much joy can turn your emotions upside down in a snap.  One second you're enjoying every moment,  and the next you're crying over a moment that put an end of all the memories you've spent together and the future plans you hold dear.

The breakup -- a result of the fight, the silence,  the anger, the horrible words exchanged by two people who used to care so much about each other.

And then here comes the broken hearts between the two or sometimes,  only one.

You ask,  how do you get up from this?  How do you pick up the pieces when all you want is to go back to him,  ask him for a second,  third,  fourth or even infinite chances to forgive,  forget, understand you.  And most especially come back to you.

How do you mend it,  your broken heart when it's one of the hardest thing to do - fixing yourself. It's not easy, but it's possible and here's how:

CRY. Let all your sadness spill out. It's not a weak thing to do.  But perhaps the most human reaction you will have. Don't keep your emotions in,  it will make you feel heavier,  sadder and more depressed than you really are.  So again,  crying is not for weak people.

GIVE IT TIME AND SPACE.  A day, a week,  a month,  a year, just time away from him, the social media, and everything that reminds you of him. This means absolutely no stalking on any platforms you can use.  Block and unfriend if you have to.  Unfollow the person if it means it's the only way you can stop from checking in on him.

ACCEPT THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE.  Hoping for another chance is just that.  Hope.  You can't live for only hope - for only expectations that if you do this,  if you do that,  he'll come back, because there's a high chance he wouldn't.  There's a chance that he's moving on - finding ways to make his life better, without you.  And hunny, your broken heart isn't going to make the world stop.

DO NOT HOLD A GRUDGE. Hating on another because of what he or she did is just another way of you thinking about this person.  And with this negative feeling on your chest,  you'll never grow.  A relationship takes two for it to work.  If it doesn't, then, it isn't meant to be.  Accept that you both have flaws.  Maybe the other person caused the fight,  but if you didn't give up,  would there be a breakup?  If both people made it work,  talked earnestly like adults,  forgave each other for their flaws,  would there be a breakup?  If forgiving the other person isn't worth it,  then is hating on them do?  Remember,  hate is never a pleasant feeling. You'll just be trapped in a constant loop of your own emotions.

CREATE GOALS FOR YOURSELF. Think about you.  Your partner is gone. Thinking about them all day and night wouldn't make them come back.  You're just wasting your precious time on alcohol, laying on the bed, cigarette and whatever you do to cope with your dooming heartbreak.  Instead,  use this opportunity to create goals for yourself.  What do you want to achieve this year?  Do you want to be promoted?  Do you want to learn a certain language?  And many more.  There are so much to learn from life.  Embrace it,  get curious, go out and learn.  We only have limited time on earth,  make use of it.  Don't waste any second, destroying yourself.

FORGIVE. This is one of the hardest part but very important, nevertheless.  Learn to forgive the person who hurt you.  This is the only way you could move on from what's holding you back.  There may be no valid reason for what they did to you,  but forgive nonetheless.  Or maybe the one you can't forgive is yourself for causing so much trouble. Forgive still. Your flaw isn't going to go away with you keeping it in like a dark secret.  Learn from your mistake and forgive yourself.  Stop the anger,  the negativity you hold to your chest.  Release it,  let it go.

LOVE AGAIN. Now that you're done with everything else,  open your heart to the world. Do not be afraid to love and be loved by another.  There are approximately 7 billion people out there,  you only need one.  Is that one so hard to find?  Trust God's timing.  That person will come.  You may not even need to chase for it,  because maybe,  just maybe,  it will fall right next to you.

At the most perfect and spontaneous time.

Without you expecting it.

And maybe, you just have to give love to yourself, even.

Happy Valentine's Day, my loves.

I Am More Than An Option



I am not just a fish you catch through a net among others.  I am not a contestant in The Bachelor fighting for your attention not to get eliminated.  I am not playing on a basketball court as a reserve.  I am not an option in a multiple choice question in your test.

And lastly,

I am not an option for you to put in a backburner,  waiting and hoping for your attention while you look for the best candidate as a partner - someone prettier,  smarter,  kinder.  Someone better.

For I am me.  The me who will love you for who you are now and for who you can be with regardless if someone better comes along because if I love you, then I see you as someone who's already better than anyone else who will come in my life.

I am me.  The clumsy ol' me.  I make mistakes. I do things I sometimes regret.  I'm not the most beautiful girl out there nor am I the sexiest and smartest.  I have my moments where I break down and cry. I'm a disappointment sometimes - a failure,  a mess.

However,

I am me.  A kind-hearted and caring individual.  When I love,  I love deeply.  I strive to spread positivity wherever I go.  I smile at people,  even strangers,  because I try to see the good in others.  I am pretty as beautiful as I can be. My body is a work of art,  a work of God.  My heart is as big as it can be inside my chest.  I'm hardworking,  diligent and disciplined.  I try to make the right choices whenever I can.

I am me.  The girl who loved you.  The girl who wouldn't have given up on you.

But you set me aside as a reserve.

And I'm more than that.

I'm more than an option.

I am me and I deserve better.

I Lost Myself Trying To Chase For Love


Love. It's waking up being greeted by "goodmorning". It's late night talks til 5am. It's being open with your flaws. It's the "I miss you's" every once in a while. It's the messages of "be safe" whenever you go out. It's the feeling of warm hugs and mind blowing kisses which linger til morning. It's the warm blush on your cheeks whenever you're told of something nice. It's the butterflies on your stomach whenever you see the familiar figure coming to you. It's the music that reminds you of him. It's the laughters, the corny jokes, the lame pickup lines. It's the one that makes you open, vulnerable and trusting. It's the hot wrestling on the bed. It's the urge to message whenever you miss him. It's the forgiveness you give in each mistakes. It's the acceptance for whoever he is. It's the motivation to be a better partner. It's the jealousy you feel whenever there's someone crushing on them. It's happiness. And I want it. I wanted it. It's an idealistic view - somewhat of a fairy tale, I suppose. It's the good side of love, just the tip of the iceberg. I wasn't told of the downside of all of these. It's the small fights turned into huge quarrels. It's the change of views. It's the breakage of trust. It's the hurt that cuts deep. It's the time you wouldn't give. It's the betrayal you do. It's staying up all night overthinking things. It's the problem you can't fix. And through it all, because you hold on to an idealistic view, you try to compromise everything - just for it to be better. You chase after him, no, after love. You hold on to the idea that love is something good and all of these bad consequences will end as long as you think positive. And it will hurt. Compromising for him, but only getting little in return. And that will change you. Hurt will turn you into something you're not. Hiding behind your positive views, is a bitter and sinister feeling. You will chase and compromise in the notion of caring for him. But at the same time, everything you said you wouldn't do, would be the same things you will. Just because you chased for your perfect idea of love - clinging to it like a leech sucking for blood. In the end, you will hurt the very person you said you loved. Deep down, unintentionally, you made him felt what you went through. Karma, is it? You both got hurt. Do you feel good? No. It's another heartbreak. But this time, you're the one who caused it. Hurting one another, is this even love? No, it's not. Love is something that you will not be able to explain. Love is something you're not expecting. It isn't something you can chase. It isn't clinging to the idea that it's your happiness. And most importantly, love is something you cannot depend on someone else. It's in you. Find yourself, love your flaws. Be your own happiness. Love yourself. Then you can wait for love.

My Best Christmas Gift Ideas





It's a very strange thing - time. It's the change that we don't expect the most, flies fast in our good times and drags ever so slowly whenever we're down. And even though it's like this, a lot still values this the most. And yet it's funny how it goes, the time we hold dear moves on even if we're still stuck in the moment.

 It seems like yesterday, we're still hungover the residual happiness of the Holidays from the year before.

And now, it's fast approaching, less than 100 days from now, we will feel the jolly clink of our spoons and the loud laughter of our peers.


Just like Game of Thrones, we can say that Winter is coming , or rather, Christmas is coming.

Besides the cold breeze, shining lights and upbeat music, gift giving is one of the thing we, Filipinos, love the most. It's the joy we get whenever we see our loved ones happy with what we give and it's the ba-dump sound of our heartbeat in the moment of opening the mystery they give us that makes this so special.

For this article, I thought of my top three best gift ideas for our loved ones. Unique, fun and just pure pleasant surprise. Before I start though, let me just say that gift giving is easier with GC Regalo and Sodexo Gift Certificate because what's better when we're shopping? It's when you don't feel it as a hassle. With just one gift certificate, you can buy a ton of things!


For the first one, it's everything that could make your dinner table classy, beautiful and welcoming. May it be red and golden table cover, cute place mats, fancy spoons, China plates and everything that would suit the theme of your choice for the holidays.


The second one would be abundance of food. Chicken, cake, pies, HAM! buy every favorite dish of your loved ones! Make it a feast they would remember. After all, you can still eat them all tomorrow.


Lastly, your presence. No kidding. Promise.

Material things come and go. It expires, corrodes and become worn out but memories don't. The best Christmas gift you can give is a memory your loved ones will remember forever. The memory that would make your 85 year old self smile reminiscing to. So don't sweat shopping for out of this world gifts but think about how the item will be of help in creating an unforgettable moment in their lives.

With this said, May you have extraordinarily, special moments this year.

Advance Merry Christmas!

Starting Over is the Hardest Thing I Had to Do



Some people say that the hardest thing in life is giving your all and failing - having disappointing results. It's either you didn't pass an exam you stayed up late for or rather you courted someone in a very long time but it still came out as a one-sided love and, let's be honest, many many more. I'll admit, I used to think this way. You see, what's worse than having your hard earned work put to trash?  

I used to think nothing. 

What's the point of trying again when I have been rejected a couple of times? Is it even worth the effort?

These kinds of toxic questions have circulated my mind for a very long time. And you know what? It made me into this negative person I didn't know. And I didn't want to get to know, ever.  Because with this mentality, I sucked my dreams and threw it in archive, hidden in my mind - making time pass without ever trying to reach them. 

What's the point of trying? I asked myself again. I kept thinking that I should just let it be. If it's for me, then it's for me, no amount of effort can change that. 

This is wrong. I encourage you not to think this way. 

Instead, think like this, I received another failure but I have to keep trying, trying until I reach my goal, my dream. Let me tell you the truth, there are a few lucky people who got success on their first try. What can you do? It's written in their fates. For the most of us, it's not. People work hard to get where they are. Do you think big businesses like Mcdonald's, Lazada or even famous celebrities like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift, got to where they are without failing and starting over? No, I might not know them personally  but I know this because I grew up reading tons of news and articles about success stories. 

Now, I'm going to tell you my story. I did blogging back in 2016, it was, what I can say, a booming popularity. In just a few months, I had quite a few brand deals accepted. I did earn money from my articles. I was happy, a bit overwhelmed, but ecstatic nevertheless. As months passed, my site did very well - even having first page searches on some topics. It was amazing and overwhelming at the same time. Self confidence and a love for writing were what I gained in those months. I was invited in events and even won contests on writing. To me, it was everything.

But life is very tricky. 

I grew tired of posting new articles. There were months where I stopped updating. I wasn't answering my emails and I just grew really lazy. Back then I multi tasked, blogging and my work. What I did was focus on my work and in turn, forgot all about my hobby. It wasn't a failure of a proposal that got me, it was a failure in my actions that killed my happiness. 

I forgot to manage my time really well. Because if you love something, you will make time for it even on your busiest days. 

I was lost. Eventually, I had to shut down my blog. And because I was in disarray, I also closed my social media accounts - Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. In my mind I was just giving myself a breather - from everything. It took me more than a year to realize how stupid I was of letting the opportunity I had to grow big. 

And now here I am, starting over again - with a new website, social media accounts and my very first post. 

The reason why starting over is a very hard thing to do is because it's hard to get the courage to stand up again - to do what you already did before. 

And I encourage you to do just that. 

If you love something, don't ever be afraid to start over again - to face failure and say "F*ck off". 

I am Fris and welcome to my blog. 
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)